Ten days until the BIG day. And I am utterly unprepared.
The true spirit of Christmas is weighed down by incessant messages of commercialism and self-interest. We may have to dig down a few layers to find Christmas spirit. I am personally convinced it is still out there. Opinions vary on how to access it.
A combination of worldly and picayune preoccupations can obscure the true message and meaning of the season.
Finding complete addresses and stamps to send Christmas cards or packages to friends and acquaintances. And before the mailing deadlines.
The mad rushing around to make sure every designated loved one has a gift under the tree. The laying in of food and baking supplies to create sweet seasonal offerings.
I am trying to do Christmas differently this year. I am doing this by not doing much of anything. If there is a key gift I wish to share with loved ones this year, it is me being calm and present.
Whatever other messages Jesus Christ was trying to convey, I am pretty sure running yourself ragged and inviting near bankruptcy wasn’t one of them. It all circles back to how we have been trained to express love and appreciation.
For my Dad, it was with money. You could tell how much he loved you or how good he felt about himself by the size of the Christmas check.
For my mother, it was the little elements that signified a “real” Christmas was underway: barley toys, and special Christmas baking. Bought not made. We’d lay in fruitcake (dark AND light) even if no one really liked it or ate it. Throwing out fruitcake after the New Year was another part of our regular holiday traditions.
And chicken bones – not actual chicken bones but a confection of chocolate and cinnamon produced by a homegrown candy shop back where I grew up in Canada.
This year, I hope to find my Christmas spirit in contemplation and prayer. Or at the very least, peace and quiet. There are Christmas traditions I enjoy but none more than having nothing to do and nowhere to go. And nowhere else I would rather be.
There will likely be a Christmas Eve church service we attend this year. The sheer beauty and enjoyment of singing old Christmas standards within a community of others has always been a surefire path to loving and peaceful feelings. A revival of the spirit at the very least.
These days, I am not in a place where I can lay my hands on chicken bones or barley toys. Just as well. No one should eat that much sugar.
This year, we will create our own Christmas. All of us always do but it varies from year to year.
The traditional Christmas fir tree is replaced by a tabletop rosemary tree with ribbons instead of ornaments.
I used to be hard on myself for not living up to all of the Christmas expectations. There is a flutter of guilt I recognize for deliberately abandoning traditions that feel more like obligations.
Choosing to celebrate Christmas quietly luxuriating in the peacefulness and joy of the season seems like a much more authentic response.
And possibly what JC would advise. I mean, he just hung around being idolized on Christmas Day. And I bet he didn’t feel even a little bit guilty.
Happy holidays, everyone.
Expressive Compulsive 