Tag: Andes

Eclecticism

I once had one particularly resonant life truth pinned up on my bulletin board among many other nuggets scribbled on bits of paper that spoke to me.

“Eclecticism is self-defeating not because there is only one direction in which it is useful to move, but because there are so many: it is necessary to choose.“

It was more a visceral understanding of that truism than an actual “knowing” that spoke to me. No question I was interested in a great many things as a young woman.

Life dictates you cannot possibly pursue all interests that pop up. Not if you want to achieve any depth of success in any chosen field.

In that respect, journalism was a reasonable path to follow. I got to ask lots of questions about lots of things from lots of strangers. And then I could actually publish or broadcast what I learned. I also got into a lot of high priced conferences by flashing my press credentials.

I worried a lot when I was young about the trap of commitment that making choices and becoming successful requires.

What lay under that fear was constantly questioning whether I was good enough to do anything. I understand that is quite common among human beings. Moreso among women I understand.

I can’t imagine why. (That’s sarcasm right there in case I needed to explain…. Girls do that.)

In the upcoming generation, I feel increasing societal pushback against the extreme standards and expectations that are put on women. There used to be a chart that circulated about how women’s leadership skills compared to how men’s skills were characterized.

He was assertive. She was bossy. He was determined. She was pushy. And so on.

It has always been a devil’s bargain. No matter how well women do, it seems, someone is always ready to “qualify” their success. It took me a long time to understand that.

So I bounced around a lot in my so-called career. Had a lot of jobs. Did some of them more or less well.

I actually enjoy being eclectic. It beats the heck out of being docile and predictable. At least that is what I told myself. Often.

Looking back, I see the truth that eclecticism was self-defeating in respects. But I also dodged a lot of bullets.

I watched senior, single academic women nursing Manhattans in bars after classes were done. I watched another former peer striding proudly as the flag bearer at the front of the annual academic procession during encaenias.

I have watched peers and colleagues zig when maybe they should have zagged at certain junctures in their lives. I know I did a few times.

All the intensity and love they poured into their careers and the strangers that once perpetually peopled their days have now disappeared. They are left with themselves and what is left from that life to comfort them in their dotage.

That seems like a very poor bargain to strike in life to me. Maybe I am speaking from a place of security and safety I had never previously known. Maybe I am a jerk and the truth is I couldn’t keep a job to save my life so naturally, I kept moving forward and moving around.

But I look back on some of those eclectic experiences with satisfaction and huge measure of gratitude for having done some of the things I did.

Trips to the Arctic, Argentina, across the Andes, all over Europe and parts of Asia. High up into the Himalayas. I saw some things that won’t leave until I do.

Young people now seem to prefer collecting experiences over “things” as our parents and grandparents might have. Vast amounts of material possessions are fated for the garbage dump when boomers start kicking off in droves.

I am of the Boomer generation and feel blessed to have adopted a life strategy of accumulating experiences over everything else well before my time.

I am not promoting eclecticism as an optimum life choice. I get and have experienced that spreading your interests too thin can backfire on you.

But I will argue I really didn’t feel I had much other choice. In my bouncing from thing to thing and author to author and one philosophy over another, I finally landed in a place where I feel myself settled and grounded.

For today anyway. It is both the curse and certainty of having an eclectic bent of mind that nothing is ever settled “finally and forever.” Not until death, perhaps, and lately I’ve been questioning if seeking will end even then.

I guess one day I’ll find out. For now, I’m going to scan my eclectic collection selection of saved recipes and see what dish I can concoct that I’ve never made before to see how it works out.

Seems like how I have greeted every day and experience since I’ve been on the planet. Why quit now.

Keep Going

The halfway point in any project, plan, a life is usually a time for stocktaking and reflection.

I remember getting halfway through my last degree and I really wanted to throw in the towel. I didn’t in the end, but I wanted to. So why didn’t I?

Self-respect was a factor. I am not a quitter and it is both a strength and a weakness that once I commit to something, I stay the course. In this example, quite literally and figuratively.

Sometimes backtracking is as unattractive an option as going forward. Imagine being on Mt. Everest halfway to the summit. You have planned that trip for months, maybe years.

And when you find yourself in a whiteout blizzard at one of the most treacherous junctions on the mountain, your choices are pretty much prescribed.

This is a challenge you are unlikely to tackle again (though astonishingly, many do). There has been a huge investment of time, energy, hope and money in thrashing out the logistics. For mountain climbers, I gather the inherent danger and many uncertainties in scaling mountains are what make the attempt appealing.

So you’re in. It is only when that blizzard comes up and your toes or fingers or tip of your nose are starting to turn into that ominous shade of opaque white that signals frostbite that mild panic may set in.

Well, it would for me anyway. I am sure there are lots of mountain climbers out there for whom missing digits and raggedy nostrils or earlobes are marks of triumph. They are if you are in a room talking to them. That means they didn’t lose the major bits at a punishing altitude in the Himalayas.

I dabbled in adventure but was never all all-in. I trekked in the Himalayas when Nepal was still quite closed off to the rest of the world. My trek took me through some of the most visually stunning landscapes I’d ever seen. Snow-capped mountains highlighted against a bright blue sky under the midday sun.

Rhododendron forests as high as our North American maple trees and gushing with blooms of bright red, dark pink and light pink. I remember stopping at a rock rest cairn along that stretch and just sitting for an hour taking it all in.

On that trek, I was headed for a temple at Jomson but eventually did quit at about the halfway mark. I was physically done and saw only days of more exertion ahead and moving farther away from civilization. In a profoundly city folk act, I was able to hire a mule train to ride back to Pokhara where the trek had begun. I’d had enough. And riding the mules was pretty cool.

I crossed the Andes from Argentina to Chile on horseback. That was a little different where there were gauchos to guide and cook for us so we were a little more pampered and protected. Which is not to say that there weren’t plenty of petrifying moments. I trusted that the horse did not want to die and had done this trip many times before. Happily, my trust paid off. Else I wouldn’t be writing this post.

So my offloading and decluttering project is at about the halfway mark. I would love nothing more than to collect my gear, pack up my tent and walk away leaving behind the mountain of tasks yet to do.

But I won’t. That self-respect thing has kicked in again. I have started something and I will damn well finish it come hell or high water. Just need to find me a metaphorical stone rest cairn to lean on for awhile to catch my breath.

Then I will lift up my pack and head off down the trail again. All the while scanning the horizon for a metaphorical mule train to scoop me up and make this journey home much more enjoyable.

Winston Churchill famously said: “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” Noted.