Tag: hell

Never Forever

It was Winston Churchill who famously said: “When you are going through hell, keep going.” Hell is not usually a nurturing environment so there is a human tendency – forgive my obviousity – to get the hell out of there.

But that’s not an obvious choice for everyone. If indeed we are in hell trying to realize a goal, going through the hell of reaching it is an accepted part of the game. Give up the game and you give up the goal.

Many accept a life of hell as “normal.” They don’t see a way out of their present circumstances or the way out is too hard. So they live in hell until they die. I often think of junkies and alcoholics who can’t or won’t get sober as living in that terrible place.

When I was drinking, I remember I couldn’t imagine socializing without a drink. Part of that belief was cultural. There were people who didn’t trust anyone who wouldn’t take a drink. I also imagine others’ sobriety made problem drinkers highly uncomfortable.

In that weird projection thing that people do, sober people – alcoholics or simply the unafflicted – were deemed suspicious. They were often treated as having or being the problem. The problem was not the thirteenth glass of beer you’d had since arriving at the pub a couple of hours ago. That was “normal.”

I am in the belly of the beast in the house sort, purge and trash exercise. I am beyond tempted to quit. I can’t, of course. Part of going through all this is because I need to meet obligations to others and to myself. But it is decidedly unfun.

Human beings acclimate quickly. Whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, we can adapt. It is part of our strength as a species.

Think of those “reality” TV shows about surviving in the wilderness alone. Participants are dropped in the middle of God knows where and their goal is to survive in order to make a lot of money. Their circumstances often overwhelm and defeat them.

But even in the face of medical advice and direction, many participants howl and protest about being taken out of that environment and losing the dream of “easy money.” Or can’t bear seeing themselves as failures or quitters.

So I am up and at ‘em again this morning. Bins to go through and contents to sort. Ancient bills and papers to let go of. Every day a little more is accomplished. Yesterday the full dumpster was taken away and replaced with an empty one. I hope to fill it before this is all over.

I’ve also learned that neither good times nor bad last forever. That is a simple truism that I’ve lived, so I’m electing to believe in that now.

This is hell for me. I will get through it. I don’t exactly know how yet but I realize the only choice is putting one foot in front of the other until I arrive at a better place. Hopefully much less cluttered and more organized.

Those may seem like simplistic goals. But offloading the accumulated detritus of a lifetime is as hard emotionally as it is physically. By organizing my insides, I am driven to get my outsides in order, too.

That reminds me of the insight and wisdom of a little boy trying to get his Dad’s attention.

On the coffee table, Dad saw a magazine with a picture of planet earth on the front cover. He said to his son, Do you see this picture of world, tearing the cover off the magazine? The little boy replied “yes”, thinking he finally had won, his Dad was going to now play with him!

Taking the little boy to the kitchen table and ripping the picture of the world into little pieces, mixing them up on the table and giving his son some “scotch tape” he said, “When you put the picture back together then we’ll play OK?”

The son said, “OK Daddy” and started to work on the puzzle. Dad went back to the living-room, sat on the couch getting comfortable and turning the “Big Game” back on, thinking to himself, it will take him all afternoon for him to figure that puzzle out.

Dad had no sooner started watching the game when his son came running into the living-room, shouting with glee, “I did it, I did it, look Daddy I did it, I taped the picture back together!” His Dad couldn’t believe his eyes saying, “How, how did you do it so fast?”

This little boy looked up at his daddy and said, “When you tore the cover off the magazine, I noticed a picture of a little boy on the back of it. I just knew if I pasted that little boy back together, the world would come together too.”

The full story is here.

The Little Boy who put the world back together: A story by Jim Quinn, Founder of the Lifestream Basic Seminar

Heaven on Earth

I have no traditional beliefs or hopes about going to an “afterlife” once I die. I do believe I have a spirit incarnated in this body at this time in the history of this world.

I also believe that my spirit might be reincarnated when this body I currently inhabit gives out. Shy of any solid, indisputable evidence, the jury is actually still out on that.

I do believe heaven and hell are here on earth. It makes sense to me that if your present living circumstances are such that belief in an eventual heaven helps you get through your days, go for it. Whatever gets you by.

That belief that so many people hold makes me a little sad though. It has allowed powerful and not-so-well-meaning people to suppress and keep people subjugated for centuries. Not naming names, but religious leaders are particularly culpable in this regard.

Advertising that you are in possession of an exclusive hotline to, and relationship with, the creator-god almighty is a pretty powerful cudgel. Combine that with limited access to education and even the ability to read and write, religious leaders have had a pretty easy row to hoe keeping people in line.

I once went to Rome and witnessed a papal audience. I worked in marketing at the time. My overriding thought at that event was that with the leverage of that storied history and artifacts shrouded in mystery and money, I could sell the Catholic party line to just about anyone. Over the ages, the Catholic Church has done just that.

It is fair to say that the Catholic “brand” has been undermined and tarnished in recent years. Widespread sexual abuse of children and a hierarchy devoted to preserving the mythology of “godliness” meant that internal corruption and coverups were almost preordained.

As priest after priest fell under the knife of justice for their unholy transgressions, I watched many lifelong Catholics go through the now-well-known stages of grieving. First, shock, then denial. Then anger when the denial defrosted.

I believe many Catholics were and are still stuck in the stage of depression without acceptance of their spiritual leaders horrific crimes. A belief system inculcated in you from infancy and supported by your culture is hard to throw off.

So there were justifications and diminishment of the grievous transgressions galore floating about in Catholic circles and out to the wider society as “the sins of the fathers” started coming to light.

“Think about all the good he did for the community,” I heard about one particularly unctuous Father. That priest had preyed on altar boys for years. He was convicted and died in prison. Devout Catholics from his parish shook their heads in disbelief and devastation for years after.

The appeal of an afterlife is understandable. In the face of individuals feeling powerlessness, having something better to look forward to after you depart this mortal coil is likely comforting.

It is also true that creating your own heaven on earth can be a daunting exercise. Life throws so many variables at all of us. Choosing the right path or pushing the right buttons often feels like an insurmountable challenge.

It is why I appreciate time alone. When I occasionally sink under the covers of my own busy external environment, that is where I have resolved some of life’s thorniest and most painful issues. I lived alone for many years.

Self-imposed isolation helped me gain my own clarity about many things in favor of other people’s dictates about what heaven and hell or a good life or bad life was. It also shaped my perception of what success is and isn’t.

With time and a little luck, we eventually grab the pebble out of the master’s hand. I was helped to articulate this position in a post I saw today. “When we are young we blame our parents for our troubles. When we are adults, we learn they are also just human beings and learn to forgive them. When we finally learn to forgive ourselves, we have become wise.” – Alden Nowlan

The goal of living is to tip the scales in favor of goodness and right. Bad things and injustice will fling themselves at you throughout your life with astonishing regularity. Your job is to hold fast to the mast of your own core beliefs. To become certain of your own values and to live by them.

I can’t say emphatically that heaven – if there is such a place – is here on earth or awaiting us after death. But I believe that if you stick to your guns and live what is true for you, you’ve got a much better shot at living a version of heaven here on earth than those who don’t.

As for an afterlife, I’ll get back to let you know if there is one when I get there.