Tag: laughs

Non Sense

Some days, certain things drift by on the Internet or into your inbox that might be worth sharing. Not always. Maybe not even this time. But often.

So forgive my shortcut as I share this wonderfully inane email that has been circulating lately. Inane though it may be, it resonated like a boss with me.

As the current abominations occurring in the world, these are pretty mild. But should be worth an eye roll or two.

Hope it musters a chuckle or some resonance with the ludicrous times we live in.

Civilization in 2023: A Cynic’s Guide

Our Phones – Wireless

Cooking – Fireless

Cars – Keyless

Food – Fatless

Tires – Tubeless

Dress – Sleeveless

Youth – Jobless

Leaders – Shameless

Relationships – Meaningless

Attitudes – Careless

Babies – Fatherless

Feelings – Heartless

Education – Valueless

Children – Mannerless

We are SPEECHLESS.

Government is CLUELESS.

Politicians are WORTHLESS.

And we’re scared WITLESS.

SOME THINGS WORTH PONDERING …

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?   ️

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front checkouts?  ️

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and … a diet Coke?  ️

Why do banks leave vault doors open and chain the pens to the counters? ️

Why can we only buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?  ️

Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering?  ️

EVER WONDER …

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?   ️

Why you don’t ever see the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”?  ️

Why “abbreviated” is such a long word?    ️

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, but dishwashing liquid is made with “real” lemons? 

Why the person who invests your money is called a “broker”? 

Why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called “rush hour”?  

Why there isn’t mouse-flavored cat food?  ‍  ️

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?   ️

Why Noah didn’t swat those two mosquitoes?   ‍  ️

Why the whole airplane isn’t made out of the same material used to make the indestructible “black box”?

If con is the opposite of Pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?  ‍  ️

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?  

And for my fellow Canadians, has anyone figured out the oxymoron that is the Progressive Conservative party? Nah. Didn’t think so. ‍ 

Yours in silliness.

For Charlie

Not my words but words I agree with in every fiber of my being.

Have you ever thought about this?

In 100 years like in 2123 we will all be buried with our relatives and friends.

Strangers will live in our homes we fought so hard to build, and they will own everything we have today. All our possessions will be unknown and unborn, including the car we spent a fortune on, and will probably be scrap, preferably in the hands of an unknown collector.

Our descendants will hardly or hardly know who we were, nor will they remember us. How many of us know our grandfather’s father?

After we die, we will be remembered for a few more years, then we are just a portrait on someone’s bookshelf, and a few years later our history, photos and deeds disappear in history’s oblivion. We won’t even be memories.

If we paused one day to analyze these questions, perhaps we would understand how ignorant and weak the dream to achieve it all was.

If we could only think about this, surely our approaches, our thoughts would change, we would be different people.

Always having more, no time for what’s really valuable in this life. I’d change all this to live and enjoy the walks I’ve never taken, these hugs I didn’t give, these kisses for our children and our loved ones, these jokes we didn’t have time for. Those would certainly be the most beautiful moments to remember, after all they would fill our lives with joy.

And we waste it day after day with greed, greed and intolerance.

Anon