Maybe it has something to do with the Andrea Bocelli concert we went to last night.

Such a privilege and a joy to see a world-class talent performing live and in person in a venue with 17,000 other people.

Maybe it has something to do with the upcoming one year anniversary of this daily blog.

Will I end it or change direction? At the moment, I have no idea.

Maybe it has to do with friends visiting. They come from a life I have left behind. They remind me of who I am and where I come from. How I had to live to survive.

Seeing Andrea Bocelli in concert last night reminded me how much my life has changed. I doubt I would have taken the opportunity had it presented itself in Canada.

Joy is multiplied when it is shared. And I had no one back there to share with.

It is always a learning opportunity to experience yourself in unfamiliar surroundings.

In the Orlando KIA Center I watched a seasoned musical genius wring every possible emotion out of the musical scale. I realized I was definitely not living in my version of Kansas anymore.

I well remember the unsettling pattern from my travels. It is hard to feel fully settled or grounded in a foreign country. I imagine it must take years to achieve that feeling.

That may explain why I am having that feeling now. Settling in a foreign land and separating from that which was so familiar for so very long.

Personal growth is usually incremental. But like arriving at any desired goal, working at something for years can appear to result in “overnight success.”

There can be several peak moments and precipitous valleys to go through along the way. Then something you strove for – often for years – is reality.

And with that, your reality suddenly is other than it was. You have arrived. Somewhere else that is different than where you were. Someone new and slightly unfamiliar who is different than who you were before.

This changed reality can bring with it a host of changes both internal and external. It can trigger – I am learning – an unfamiliar rise in emotions. It is perhaps nature’s way of internal decluttering.

I always believed that only by bringing something to light, can we see and examine it for what it is. It is only then that we can shed it and move on. That we can grow.

That would appear to apply to life changes, too.

There are markers in everyone’s life. Graduation day. The wedding ceremony. The pregnancy discovery. The birth of your first child.

A friend who dies unexpectedly and way too soon. Then one parent dies. Then the other. A cancer diagnosis in you or a loved one. Monitoring wonky lab results as if someone’s life depends on it. Because it does.

These changes rise incrementally even as we live our lives guided mostly by habit and daily rituals until there is – as my daughter put it – an “incident.” A something either large or small that changes the trajectory of a life.

So maybe the feels I am feeling are a cumulation of small events that have built up day over day and month over month for a good many months now. It intrigues me and makes me curious about what is going on inside me.

Among those uncomfortable feels is a rising sense of passion and reengagement in life. Modest ambition. Energy to pursue it. A feeling of being grounded and settling into place. Finally.

A saying popular in the last century was that the greatest gift a parent could give a child was roots and wings. Roots to bind them to who they were and where they came from. Wings to let them dream and grow and pursue their dreams.

Perhaps fomenting underneath my current state of emotional discombobulation are a manifestation of those two conditions.

Maybe all the internal seeking and emotional work I have done for so long have finally landed me here.

Inhabiting my self at last and fully for the first time? We’ll see.